


Monochrome Kiss

by tangablesadness



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Canon - Anime, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Character Study, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, POV Ciel Phantomhive, POV First Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, anime theme song, but literally nothing there, one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangablesadness/pseuds/tangablesadness
Summary: The monochrome blowsThrough our colorless encounter.I shall entrust each of my pains to you*Because Song fics need to be a thing again*





	

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone remember song fics? I used to love them so much, I hope they become a trend again. Here's my little contribution I managed to write 4 years later XD.

 

_The monochrome blows_

_Through our colorless encounter._

_I shall entrust each of my pains to you_

 

 

I solemnly lifted a hand, reaching out to the sun I haven't seen in ages, almost unrecognizable now. The light reflected off deep scarlet lines criss-crossing my ivory skin, and the small warmth permitted by the half ball of brilliance settled underneath my skin, causing it to feel like fire to my shivering limbs.

I was still frozen though.

Exhausted I began to fade, looking uncaringly to the demon that bowed, to dead to be enraged at his sarcastic teasing smile.

I learned how to later. I was just almost stabbed, bloody bastard.

The demon turned to me, softly picking me up and carried me in the vaguely directed direction. His crisply cleaned shirt was soothing in a way, I could pretend it was someone else if I closed my eyes.

I lied my head against his chest, ignoring his sardonic expression and lazing into the embrace. I fell asleep promptly.

It was warm here. 

 

 

_The unforgiving autumn,_

_Which forcefully traces my scars, comes_

_While your cool fingers still beckon me_

 

 

He pried and pushed, watching with dark eyes as I wished my aunt goodbye. Laughed and mocked as I stood in that cemetery, watching for my reactions, my hypocrisy, my "kindness".

 My eyes were deadened as he looked into them, alive and sparkling as he stood away in contemplation.

He was toying with me.

I gave him my reply, answered his wonderings with perhaps more emotion than necessary. His assumptions worsened the guilt of not having any.

He pledged his allegiance to me that day, hands raised.

  
My emotions wore a white cloth.

 

 

_After I'd melted, you tenderly save_

_The troublesome, icy me_

_And toy around with me with a kiss_

 

 

The ring sparkled in the dimming light, perfect, whole, beautifully cursed sapphire encrusted with carved silver that fit snugly around my thumb.

  
He didn't have to, it wasn't an obligation of his butler aesthetic.

That made it worse.

  
He brushed a kiss against my neck as he tucked me in, and he left me to wonder at the night as he stepped out.

  
His hunger permenated through the wall,

yet I still wanted to play his little game. 

 

 

_Nevertheless, I search for a single form of love_

_Your dried eyes tied it to the present from a time far beyond_

 

 

I could feel myslf choking on terror as I looked up from that cage, the puke spewing violently from my mouth as I hurled forward. I called for help, for anyone to save me. I heard a voice in the background-

_What do you have to be afraid of?_

and I reached out to it desperately, pulling myself from the hauntings.

_Call my name._

I screamed in agony, looking for that damning savior that had saved me so long ago. I saw feathers and wings behind my shut eyes, and the blood demonic eyes burning as a claw reached out for me.

I opened them up to face it again. That hunger and want.

I was comforted to know that the need that tied us together was still there.

 

 

_If I can, I want to end while shrouded this like_

_Together, we concealed our pale selves; the moon is hiding, too_

 

 

He looked downward as the stone pieces of angel wings cracked behind him. He leaned in for a kiss. 

How appropriate that little scene would be for when the time would come for the ending of this unimportant little show. 

 

 

_How many nights_

_Did I come to love since then?_

_In the sea of dependence, I forget to even breathe_

 

 

I choked myself awake, coughing on the blood slipping from the insides of my throat, the delicate skin torn by a knife as I watched it spill into my filthy cage, and then the carpet of my bedroom as I slipped into the waking world.

  
He came to me immediately, letting me lean on him for grounding, picking me up softly and cleaning everything and myself. He gave me milk and honey and kept his voice going in a calming murmur as I fell back asleep. Even if fake, his softened stare warmed more than his provided drink.

  
"Stay by my side until I fall asleep."

 

 

_Even with your captivation, you only leave behind a tepid warmth_

_In the art of knowing when to quit_

_I dislike your conceited kisses_

 

 

I watched him, exasperated and slightly worried as he preformed act after act, striking awe into the fellow circus members around him. He created an erethal form as he danced through, the most arrogant grin on his face as he perceived their awed expressions and trimpahant shouts. He came gliding up to me cockily, and I had to roll my eyes before I hissed at him to settle down.

He looked back at me in surprise as I hushed him. It was such a foolish thing for a demon to require such admiration and attention from what he considered cattle. Wasn't this creature not supposed to feel such emotion?

Maybe his narcassisim finally overcame such boundaries.

Later when we departed he tried to carry my tired body to my shared tent. In turn I brushed him off and walked in another direction. 

 

 

_Don't leave me alone, perceive and color me already_

_What words will slip out of your room?_

_Being confused, falling asleep- Will you tell me about things beyond those?_

 

  
I lay splayed out across his small bed, taking up everything as my nude form was shown off without care.

  
I stared back at him as he smiled down at me, walking over from his position by his rumpled clothes and stooping down to brush away some hair from my left eye. He flipped his left hand over and pressed it into my lid, and I flinched shocked from the pleasant burning sensation that coursed through me.

  
"Do you have any idea of how it feels to soon have the chance to know another as such?"

  
His eyes shined in the dim moonlight and he covered my vision entirely. When I could see again the bed I was lying in was a King.

  
An odd feeling of admiration built up in my chest, and I wondered confused of what caused such an emotion.

  
I knew my answer as I felt a scarlet gaze though the crack of my door.

 

 

_Only the moon is looking at the sighs lost in the questions of smiles_

_When the next long needle points to the ceiling_

_You won't be around anymore_

_I won't need you anymore_

 

I shook in strain and agony as I held onto the leftovers of that bridge. The explosion tore me this way and that as it rumbled and screamed. Then everything turned deathly silent, sending a shiver down my spine. I heard the crunch of footsteps laze their way towards my spot, opening my eyes and looking up as they paused.

The sky overhead was painted black as the moon shone brilliantly in watch. I looked into soft, almost glassy eyes as they stared down at me with a care I did not know. It tugged at something, deep and wrenching, and I stared at him back blankly, taking in his surprise as my own forlorn hopeless smile appeared in return.

He reached out to me.

I let go and plummeted. 

 

 

_Nevertheless, I definitely searched for a form of love_

_Your teary eyes tied it to the present from a time far beyond_

 

 

He fumbled to put the ring on my finger, and sounded almost off as he apologized.

It did not matter though, nothing mattered.

I felt numb and took pride in the calm. I was shattered for years but my revenge had me focus on the wholeness of each piece.

I looked back silently over the surface of the water, seeing the unnatural stillness while tapes still played beneath.

You had to marvel at his aesthetics, I would indeed die beautifully. 

 

 

_If I can, I want to end while shrouded this like_

_Your wish and the night bring morning along in vain_

 

 

He never took his gaze off me, as if my final actions was the cherry on top of my soul.

I wondered if that brilliance inside me will merit this time to some sort of memory in that demon's mind.

He bowed to the ground in what seemed to be some sort of reverence, and I couldn't understand how this added to our little game since it was over. It made me want to burn everything, yet I was to numb to care about such a thought.

I was tired.

He cupped my cheek softly, and leaned forward, catching me slightly off guard with some sort of kiss.

I had to wonder the selfish intentions behind granting me such a thing. 

 

 

_Paint it with a tender, passionate, yet cowardly kiss_

_The moon illuminates our final night_

 

 

The darkness burned everything I ever cared about.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Leave any sort of feedback below, I love hearing from you all. Leave a kudos if you liked this ^_^
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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